Saturday, September 24, 2011

You said you love me

    Tomorrow used to exist. I never had a problem imagining what tomorrow would bring with you. Now I'm not so sure.
    It hurts//waiting for you. I can't call you simply to hear your voice//show up at your door because I needed to feel your chest as you breathe. This isn't what I wanted for myself...for you....for us.
    You tell me you're trying and I believe you. I don't believe myself. Those daydreams of tomorrow are becoming few and far apart. I want them back. I want to trust that I'll still want you when I wake up in the morning and that comes with trusting that you'll still be there.

    I'm trying to study, but I can't think of anything but you. I can't stop thinking about how it felt on the other side; not much better than it feels now.

    I want to know how I'll feel tomorrow. I don't want to wait until it's too late to fix it.

I love your calls. I hate them. The sound of your voice instantly calms me and brings a smile to my face without hesitation. The short duration of those calls breaks my heart. I love that you call just to tell me you were thinking about me and to hear my voice, but I wish there would be more. More time. More words.

"I need to buy a one way ticket to anywhere. Someplace far and I'll never look back."

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