My Sad Nights

I am not ashamed to admit to you the following information:

1. I have listened to more than my fair share of sad cover songs on YouTube.
2. I am utilizing Google to research "baby fever" for the sake of self diagnosis. 

Every now and then, usually on a monthly basis, I have one very depressing evening where I dive head first into sad songs and desperately try to avoid contacting my exes (which I am not always successful at). It never ends well and I stumble to bed hoping I find relief in my dreams (which is also not always successful). The results of my evening.... sad expressions and an empty uterus. Win some lose some. 

On another, completely unrelated note...The weather has been a little rough today. Ice, ice, baby.... everywhere. My car was frozen. my parking lot was frozen. I was frozen. You get the point! As expected, we had a small power outage; a momentary lapse of power lasting for approximately 3 seconds. After frantically trying to find lighters and candles... and fix my internet... somebody took it upon themselves to attempt to open my front door. Roscoe freaked out, I had a minor heart attack, all the expected reactions. Luckily, the front door was locked. Crazy times here at Oak Park. 

I'm going to listen to some more sad cover songs and Google baby pictures. To each their own. ;) Here are some pretty pictures. 

It's One of Those Nights

• I feel lost inside myself; confused about the life I'm living and the person I was when I made the decisions that got me here.
• I spend hours scrolling through pages of sad, beautiful and occasionally inspiring pictures I find on random blogs. 
• I tried to accept the hand I was dealt and shake the hand of my opponent, only to be slapped with what I lost. 
• The same songs are on repeat...... until my eyes wear heavy and I drift to sleep.

Hodgepodge

    I've been putting off writing anything for the past week. I'm not really sure why; maybe I was scared of everything running through my mind or simply too caught up in my busy schedule to care much. Either way, this is a collection of (almost) everything I've been considering lately. 

Two Weeks Notice

    I put my notice of resignation in at both Camp Bow Wow and the vet practice last Wednesday. It was possibly one of the toughest things I've had to do. I've never quit a job before... except for the 3 I held when I graduated and left Tampa. I love Camp Bow Wow, but it no longer had anything to offer me and I couldn't bear to stick around any longer with failure in my face. The vet practice has honestly become home to me, but I need to grow. The practice is so small that there is little room to budge at this point. 

    I was nervous; I still am. I'm nervous that my relationships with my coworkers will change for the worse; that I'll regret my decision; that my future isn't as bright as I think it is. 

    I'm scared. 

What I Would Tell My Teenage Self About Sex

    Hey! You see that guy over there? Walk away!! He's super cute and you think he's funny... for now. I can already tell you what happens. 

    You met him at the store when you ran him over with your shopping cart because you were far too interested in staring at soup cans to watch where you were walking. You laughed so hard you couldn't talk. Eventually, you managed a few words and the two of you exchanged numbers. He was the first person to make you feel special and important, and so the trap was set. 

    You end up sleeping with him way too soon and for reasons you'll never understand. Afterwards, you start to think he isn't as funny.. or as nice.. or anything like you thought he was when you met him. Every little thing he does is annoying and upsetting. You find yourself in a depressive state, desperately trying to grab the small shred of what you think is left between you. You spend an entire year forcing yourself to love him because you think that's how it's supposed to be. 

    My point is.... don't do it. Just walk away now. You're gonna hate yourself for what you let happen. Trust me. 

2013

    First of all, my dog's resolution seems to be sleeping more considering he's been asleep since 7pm yesterday!

    I stopped making resolutions... because they simply became promises I subconsciously designed with the purpose of being broken. The number change means nothing to me, although I do have a new start at a new job. Hopefully, things will get better and I won't be stuck in the same spot a year from now. 

I'm Sorry...

    ...for everything.